Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Am I a Good Mother ??

Two years and ten months ago my little angel came to life, to change mine completely .. the wonder of the motherhood was overwhelming ,,i remember the first days of her life ,, the sleepless nights,, the feeding ,, changing nappies ,, the first smile .. and the guessing !!: does she looks like me ,, oh! she has her dad`s color of hair but she do look like me ..oh no she looks like my sister ,, she has Aladdin smile ..
months later i noticed a little white sparkling thing in her mouth ,, a tooth ,, waw subhanallah ,, it was such an amazing moment ,, later on, there was the hard food stage ,, mixing the vegetables and fruits and taking less milk...and so on ,, my dania `s growing process was (and still) a journey of joy and happiness.
i was working at the time so my mum was her actual mother ,, Dania would spend the whole day in my family house with mama ,, sometimes she would even spend the night there.. mum was amazing with her as she was with us when we were kids ... i was rest-minded knowing that who take care of my daughter was my lovely mum .. needless to say that by the time i started to depend on mama more anad more on dania`s care ...
one night last year i was preparing myself to come to England emptying dania`s stuff in boxes and folding her bed for storage ,,when i suddenly realized that i`m taking dania from her actual mama: my mama ... at the time my daughter was so close to mum that she would call her mama .. and i think to this date that Dania thinks that i`m her closest sister or something and that mama is our mum (both of us) and that sister and brothers are her siblings along with her dad !!!...
well back to that evening, i was puzzled ,, wondering if taking Dania with me would be the right decision ,, this will definitly break my mum`s heart ,, but i can`t live without her she is my soul ,, the hard decision was done ( with alot of support from mama herself) i took her away ..
first days in UK was as hard as anybody could imagine ,, it was my and Abubaker first contact with dania ( without family surrounding us) ,, i remember her callings to mama ,, her sleepless nights asking about mama , dad, brothers and sister.. her crying asking me to go to mama.. i was heartbroken,,crying most of the time ,, trying to hide my weakness from hubby ,,i was missing mama as well ..and dania was not there for help..
two months later i was just adjusting myself to this new life with our sweet spoiled dodo ..covering her with new clothes , new toys ,, and lots and lots of sweets and chips ,, it was my desperate way of saying i love you,,,,,
mum came to visit ,, mama was missing dania tremendously , but i was amazed by the reaction of little Dania ,, she jumped to hug mama and throughout the next days she was glued to mama as if she didn`t want her to go again...this visit was so important to me, mama and dania..
mama`s departure was so painful ... i always blame her for her unconditional love , her looking-after-each-person-attitude that makes us so dependent on her,, her non-stop-giving ,, and her hugs and cuddles it just makes us soo in love with this beautiful lady ,, and here again my baby was falling in love with her ...
after few months of struggling with dania`s mood ,, trying to mimic my mum`s food to please her ,, singing the same songs .. i reached a point where i started to ask myself : Am I a Good Mother? ... yes i`m trying but did i do what was expected from a mother? ,,, my mum dedicated her life to us .. mum was always there for us ,, she was and still over protective ,, she bought us our first books ,, she cooked our favourate food ,,, and to date mama is always there even for our cousins and family kids ,,
mama abandended her master studies because of us ,, she was accepted to study at the university of Rome to study philosophy ,, but for our sake she just withdrew her studies to take care of us ...
i`m not like her ,, i`m studying my masters leaving Dania for hours -to fulfill my dreams!- ... i go to gym which means extra hours away from her,, i use computer alot for study and for internet ,, leaving dania for hours playing alone ...
i may not cook today coz i`m tired ,, heating a ready made pizza would not impress mama ,, this is not how you treat your family... she may say..
i`m so lazy in training her on potty cause i`m busy with studies ,, prefering to wrap her with nappies (thank you pampers for size 5!!!) ...
i would arrange a day out to myself to see a movie or something prefering to leave dania with her dad coz ,, i just want to enjoy!!!
well ,, i love her to bits ,, she is my little angel ,, i really became addicted to her ,, when she is ill ,, i just feel heartbroken,, i hate seeing her crying,, i adore her smile... i like to sing with her uncle barnie`s song:
I love you.. you love me
we are happy family..
i like building lego houses with her ,, watching Madagascar movie with her .. dancing on the zamzamat songs (she is addicted to زمزامات و مصطفى بتير ) ,, reading her night time stories ..
i cherish every second spent with her ,,,she is the light of my soul .. it is just my inner guilt that makes me wonder whether i`m a good mother or not ,, a good mother.. just as mine...

love you mama

Dania`s mum

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Take That - Patience

nice video and great song

Friday, November 24, 2006

Places around the world

create your own visited country map
or write about it on the open travel guide

these are the places i visited or lived in ... thank you Aladdin ( ),, i really injoyed it

your sister
Um Dania

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Books Books Books...!!!!

I like books ,, i always have a book to read ... i usually read before sleeping but when in gets interesting especially in the final stages i end up reading all the time ...i can`t stay without a book to read, it makes me feel that i`m alone without my imaginary world , without the characters that i fell in love with,, or hate ,,
but what kind of books do i like most: well.. i like mostly the books with a story line ,, even if it is a historic book( like the WILD SWANS by Jung Chnag- thank you tears from heaven to remind me of it-!!) ,, i prefer to have a story inbetween to injoy it ,,,
recently i started to have interest in the biographies,, so during my stay in Libya (in summer) i read Gabriel Garsia Marquez `s book "Vivir para contarla" or in English: "live to tell"which was one of the best books i ever read.. so amazing and full of live...
before coming back to UK i took a book from my dad`s big library to read on my way home and again ..i fell in love with the book: " Daughter of Fortune"by Isabel Allende,,the story will turn you back to the early years of the ninteen century in the latin America and a love story of a lady who follows her heart to san fransisco (in the age of Gold craziness!!!) ... ok just read the book and tell me....
later on i started with a book named (حارث المياه) i don`t know how to translate it ! the auther `s name is Huda Barakat and the story is about Bairut during the civil war ,, so emotional and touching ,,
these days i started reading Ibrahim Alkouni ( the most famous libyan writer) `s (Alrubba Al Hajariya) "الربة الحجرية" ,,, a collection of short stories that will take you to the magical world of the desert in south libya with the supra-natural world of ghosts and jins and mysteries .... very interesting..
i like reading the arabic books ,, and arabic writers ,,, like نجيب محفوظ, صنع الله ابراهيم , انيس منصور , محمود السعدني,حنا مينة,محمد شكري,and many many more ... and i recomend everyone to read for these people ,, they are telling our stories ,, our lives..
there are alot of books that i read recently really but there are two books that i advice you to read and then to tell me what do you think of them :

1. "Memories of two hostages " about the french reporters christian shinto and george malbrunot who had been kidnapped for four months and released in late december 2004 ...their book is kind of a diary ,, a day by day diary to give the full image of how bad is the situation in Iraq ,,
2. " المشوهة" by the Saudian journalist and tv presenter Rania Albaz who had beed brutally abused by her husband ,, her story was all over the news last year , she even appeared in Oprah `s show in an contraversial episode about the women around the world ,, i remember that Oprah ended the report by saying that women in USA must be proud to be born in the country of liberty!!!
just read these two books if you have time, you will injoy it..

finally i must admit again that i`m one of the addicted fans of Harry Poter books ... and i`m inpatiently waiting for the final one to be released .... can`t wait....
well i know that this post is kind of boring ,,, but since i`m in the middle of my studies and all i see around me is books ,, therefore i got this idea of posting about books ,,, my ultimate passion!!!

see you

Sunday, October 15, 2006

TAKE THAT (yes.. the band!!)

do you remember this band "TAKE THAT " used to rock the world back in the ninties with their hits.. i was in the university when they first reached the fame ,, i was collecting the new songs and it was a challenge for us students to have the newest .. i used to listen to their music on my way to the university.. they were representing us ..with their soft music and full of feelings words.. i still have all these memories rushed over to my mind when i listen to any of their songs..
so when we heard about Gari Barlow"the leader of the band" coming to our local supermarket to sign his book .. we were "me and Abubaker " like kids excited and over the moon .. preparing our camera and talking about our long distance memories back in the university when this band was a legend...
so we went on that day .. bought the book( i started to read it today) into the "q" then tah taaah.. here we are infront of him ....ooops ... he is short ... normal blond english man ... (and what do i expect!!!!) anyway i started to take the pictures of abubaker anad dania with the singer ,,i guess i was sooo excited that i was shaking (thus blurred photos!!)..
well i guess all of us have this beautiful memories of an old song or singer that you cherish so much ... and whenever you listen to this certain song or singer the memories keep rushing to your mind reminding you of that period of your life that you thought you forgot... that `s what happened with us. we ended that day talking about our memories back in the unviersity...trying to remember the songs and the words ...
we had his signature on the book (to Dania).. we waved good bye to him and we went back to our daily groceries to buy .. and with a smile on our faces .. we went out of the market looking happy and satisfied ... how nice it is to see a celebrity every now and then..

Sunday, October 08, 2006


"Dania in her PJ before sleeping!!"

well this is what we do on an ordinary ramadan day here..:

  • first my little angel will wake up at 9:00 o`clock and she will start her battle to wake me up too..
  • then after i surrender we go to the living room to open the cartoon channel..
  • prepare breakfast to dania which is usually toasts with butter and honey
  • if there is no university i just open the internet to see the updates and to read the latest blogs
  • at 4:00 straight to the kitchen to wonder what to cook for today
  • before sunset the marathon starts to finish all the cooking , frying, baking ,,ect on time
  • after iftar .. television television television television......

well i see alot of musalsalat"soaps"in ramadan,, especially this ramadan with nowhere to go after sunset ,, so we start with "Bab alhara" a syrian one with a lovely story of an old hara in damascus ,, i like the syrian atmosphere and the food is just amazing ,, but this musalsal is still without a story line (everything is still ideal and perfect ) and i think that this is the problem of ramadan programs they must stick to this number of episodes (30 ) so the story is stretched just to fulfill this period ,,

another musalsal is "7adaek alshetaan" by jamal sleman which i think that he performed the sa3eidi man so good (don`t you think) although he is not egyptian..again this musalsal has the same problem : no story yet..

then there is this musalsal of yaheiya elfakharani "seket alhelali" which i think is soo good and amazingly the story started already with a lot of events and suspence ,, i recomed it for you..

after.. i just wait for the cartoon "Alfereej" in Dubai to start ..a hilarious cartoon taking place in dubai the way Dania is addicted to it ..

then it is 11:30 long night to go..we just start again to change channels without concentration..then suddenly dania annouce (notice that she is the one deciding when to go to sleep!!!) that it is time to sleep ,, so i follow her ,,wait her till she sleeps ,, then turn back to the kitchen to prepare su7ur to Abubaker who is always nagging about eating too much with no exercise.. well hubby it is ramadan !!!

then it is sleep time ...

good night

Dania`s mama

Friday, September 29, 2006

Dania ..oh Dania!!!

I really wish there is any pecifier patches.. cause my darling is addicted to it: no pecifier means no sleep although she doesn`t use it during the day but at night it is another story ,,
I would like to let her stop it but I can`t or kinda afraid of ..I just can`t imagine how could dania get to sleep without it .. it became a trade mark or a sleep pattern ..
but as a dentist (or used to be!!) I`m affraid that her teeth could get damaged , they are still ok and she is not using it all the time but still it is a hazard for her teeth..
and you know what dania names her pecifier : mammu and since sleep is "nannu" in dania`s language ,, so when she ask for a MAMMU it means it is time for NANNU!!!!!
in another story we have this potty training tragedy .. I actually began with dania in libya and after few accidents she started to do it in the bathroom and I was like...WAAAAAW YESSSS!!! but when we came back here she just freaked out when she saw the bathroom and as a result we brought the Pampers and started all over again.. I think that I will re-train her after ramadan in sha`allah..
Ramdan .. this holy month it just reminds me of my family back home .. how we used to sit around the living room table (which we use it in ramadan only ) full of delicious food only mama could make ,chatting ..laughing ,,watching TV ,,and injoying the atmosphere..then after feast we put our pillows under our arms taking this semi-sleep position on the couches waiting for my mama lovely green tea (i`m trying to do it as you do mama..but never the same) with some ramadan sweets like mahallabia, ataief,zalabia and other delicacies..
those warm nights beside mama are priceless ,, i don`t know why this month is reminding me of my mother..i just can`t stop missing her, dad, aladdin, ghassan and lovely dody..
ramadan here is sooo un-ramadanic ,, in libya you feel it straight away; shops are opened till dawn ,, family visits ,, streets are crowded ..
well the good news is that the weather is good so we go out often ,,and also abubaker found all the goods we need for ramadan from a paki shop.... he found even zalabia (which is a great pleasure for abubaker),,so alittle bit of ramadan is here too..
but the problem is after sunset we just eat and sit nothing else ,,watching TV ,,opening internet ,,chatting with family ,,that`s it .. i think the problem is that we are not used to that ,, we are still new around here and still the memories of last year ramadan in our heads ..may be in the next one we will be done !!!
what else .. what else..oh yes!! I liked what anglolibyan wrote about the libyan women bloggers ,,thank you so much it was so encouraging .. I must admit that i have been inspired by Khadija terri ,,then I found it a good way to improve my english .. then it become addiction..i just can`t sleep every night before checking some of my favourate blogs ..even in my busiest time i still have those ten minutes to check and injoy thanks all for your lovely blogs ..
well i think that is for today i hope i could be more regular .. i will try to..
bye for now..

Dania`s mama

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Ramadan Kareem

Mabrouk Ramadan to all of you ,, yes i`ve been away for awhile .. well.. i was i little bit busy.. now i came back to Newcastle after spending almost two months in Libya .. i started my studies few days ago.. so i sort of getting back to my routin life ..
well injoy these holy days .. may god bless you all..

kul sana wa antum taiebeen..


Friday, August 18, 2006

HEY...I`M BACK !!!

after almost three weeks of extreme hard work of preparations and reservations finally my brother`s fat7a and engagement party were over..and i`m back to my lovely virtual world of internet ..
the past few days were full of fun .. we were partying all time .. the house was crowded with my aunts , uncles and kids..AND DANIA!!
oh..Dania .. i had a hard time with her when our home became full of people .. she was crying most of the time asking to stay away from everybody so i ended up sitting with her for hours in our bedroom untill she calm down and agree to play with the other kids .. i must admit that my little lady has a strong character that surely will drive me crazy..but Dania was never like this before she used to love kids especially my young aunt`s kids(Ismail and Yaseen) but during the ceremony days she ignored them , refused to play with them.. i was so stressed with her..
yet she had these special moments of joy and happiness (at night) when we turn on the cd player (she is addicted to Shakeera`s song :hips don`t lie).. so when we just put this song ..she just start to pull up her t-shirt and wave her belly like shakeera do and make everybody laugh..
or when we put (gdoora habeeb ) songs - a singer from east of libya- she clubs her hands so hard and hit her foot on the ground as the old men do in such songs.. and again everybody laughs!!
but during the day hours ,, she is another one refusing to stay with anybody and insisting on following me everywhere (even to the bathroom!),,she almost drove me crazy..
on the fat7a day we brought "nouba"(a traditional musical band) to our home and it was a great fun but when everybody was busy dancing , singing , laughing .. i was holdling my little Dania as she refused to leave my arms ..everybody was giggling at my sight saying that she was instructed by her dad to not leave me so i could not dance infront of the male band!!!!
the following day was the engagement day .. i was the last to prepare myself as usual .. we were supposed to have all the family and closed friends coming to our home before going to the party.. we offered rozata(almond milk) and abamber(almond ....thing!!!) and i rushed to dress dania up and to do my make up and everything..and suddenly Dania slept..oh..god.. i tried to wake her up with no success she was deeply asleep..i finished her dressing while she was sleeping ...and when i finished and after i became covered in sweat(which made me re-wash my face and hair ..ect..ect) suddenly..she woke up again very nervous and so bad in temper shouting for Mema(me!) to come aned grab her.. i almost cried in despair..
later we managed to rush to the crowd waiting downstairs..i ran with everybody to handle the "sabatat" (decorated boxes and baskets full of everything from makeup to jewelery as presents to the bride) to my cousins .. to put the people in the cars.. yes.. i did everything with dania stuck to my abaya.. crying .. shouting that she wants to sleep (she was actually saing:please go nannu..!!!)i became so nervous at the moment that i almost bit her..
we arrived to the party .. everybody was holding one of these "sabatat" we entered accompanied by the sound of "al nouba" i felt so proud watching our people welcomed by the family of the bride .. my mother was so confortable ,, my sister was over the moon .. everybody was so happy.. the bride was so beautiful .. she was glowing..
later the dinner was served .. everybody was eating when suddenly my lovely dodo started to shout again asking to go home ..well not only that .. she actually started to run across the hall towards the entrance and i grab my dress and started to run after her .. it was so funny watching us .. but believe me i wished at the moment to die or to disapere .. i felt as if i was one of these rude women with their uneducated children making a scene infront of everybody.. well it ended up having dania between my feet trying to calm her .. the bride`s mother suggested at the moment to take her to my brother and his bride`s dinner table to eat with them just to change atmosphere.. and you know what ? it works.. she just sat watching them with amazement .. i was beside her .. at the time i started to wipe my forehead and to breath deeply at last..
the party was fantastic although i couldn`t enjoy most of it for well known reasons..!!! but still it was fantastic .. seeing my brother with his future wife made my eyes watering..he was handsome ..
later on everybody started to dance .. except me holding Dania who was now sleeping peacefully between my arms.. it is sooooo lovely to be a mum!!!!
well overall seeing everybody having the time of their life gave me some relief...
two days after we had the pictures .. i was only in two pictures .. two miserable pictures .. only two .. mama and sister and little brother where in every picture .. and me only two.. i will make my revenge on the wedding ceremony.. if HER MAJESTY allows..!!!
well these days i`m trying to take some rest after those stressful weeks .. Dania now in a better mood .. everybody is trying to give explanations to what happened with her.. my mama said that maybe because of those long months alone in Newcastle made her more into staying alone than being in the middle of a crowded house..
anyway.. everything is over now .. our home is quiet again.. i started to think about Newcastle again.. and Abubaker alone there.. i missed him too much especially through the fat7a day when all the male members of our family were there except him..
Dania started to ask about him .. today afternoon i showed her a video of her daddy back in UK , she was excited watching daddy and talking to him .. and i felt so miserable facing the never ending dilemma of staying with my lovely mama and family or staying with my lovely hubby..
i love my life and i thank god to what he gave me .. but it is always the human being nature to never be satisfied..
well that is what i have for now..
good bye..

Sunday, July 30, 2006

QANA again..

i woke up this morning on the most devastated pictures i ever saw.. another massacre in Qana ..another one ..

27 children died..

they were hiding with their families in a building .. and what a coincidence; the israeli bombs hit them .. killing more than 55 persons including these babies.. i couldn`t hold my tears .. and i`m speechless now ..

if the tears and prayers could end this war ,, i will not stop crying ..and praying .. but what is happening in this world makes me feel so frustrated..

but still i will pray for them .. for these children ..our children .. for lebanon ..

i`m soo sad today feeling that those children lost their life ..simply because they are lebanese..may god rest their souls ..

i don`t know if this could help .. but i`m fasting tomorrow and i will spend the whole day praying and reading Quraan for the souls of the victims ..i heard somewhere that alot of muslims are doing the same tomorrow so i decided to follow..and i hope that everybody could do the same .. i know that we should pray everyday ,, but at least this will make us feel that we are sort of usefull although by fasting and praying

i was determined NOT to talk about the war in Lebanon .. as i felt that i will not add anything .. but today i couldn`t resist ..

will you fast with me tomorrow

it is only one day just to feel the sufference of our brothers there ..

thank you

Dania`s mama

Tuesday, July 25, 2006


Harry potter .. this magical story of a young wizard who is chased by lord voldermort (the bad guy!!) .. I just like this beautiful story full of magic and mystery .. yes.. I know that it is originally created for children but I must admit : I adore this harry and his school , his friends , the headmaster ,, simply everything is fascinating me ..
since I was a child .. I was always amazed by stories of witches ,, and as my mum always say ; I had this great imagination that I could invent a full story about this beautiful princess who was cursed by the bad evil witch and bla..bla..bla..
it was not only imagination and creations .. I used to draw the characters ,, write the lines for them (their dialogues) and I just fill these pages till I reached the end (which is usually a happy ending!).. this is how I used to play (i was a shy girl and a very very quiet child) .. i used to spend the entire evening inventing , painting , and changing the story till I feel satisfied .. and that`s it ..
over the years and because we used to travel too much .. I lost most of my paintings , and of course all my stories .. but I`m still remembering those lovely evenings .. with all those papers and colours around me ,, and only my imagination to begin..
well .. maybe ,, because of these shadowing memories of a childhood that I missed too much ,, that is why I grabbed the first book of harry potter with enthusiasm ,, I remember taking the book with me to my clinic and just read it whenever I could (between appointments ,, after pulling some teeth ,, whatever!!!) and since then I became addicted to it .. I bought the second one.. the third one .. the fourth .. then I bought the DVD`s ,, then the fifth book ,, and the sixth one .. now i`m waiting for the seventh to be finished (sadly this will be the last one).
these days I`m re-reading the forth book (`cause I recently saw the movie: Harry Potter and the goblet of fire) .. so I felt that I would like to read it again .. to see what did they cut and what did they add ,, and most of all .. I would like to revive the characters ,, the story..
it is addiction signs.. I know !! ..but believe me .. it worth it .. I praise the writer for her wonderful work.. and I will save the books for Dania to read when she grow up ..
it is a story of love and devotion .. full of magic and mystery..and beyond.
I just like it

Dania`s mama

Friday, July 21, 2006

I LIKE TRIPOLI... at night !

Al Saraya Al Hamra in Tripoli
yes.. Tripoli is beautiful at night especially the harbor area and the down town .. the streets are soo bright .. the sea is crystal clear ... as if the stars had fallen into its water .. the weather is warm with some breezing air that pass by your cheeks to give you this wonderful feeling of happiness and peace ..
through the day ,, it is another story ,, terrible traffic and horrible drivers ,, millions of cars everywhere.. bad weather with heat and humidity .. people with long faces , ready for any problem to blow their anger off..
to make it short ,, it`s a big mistake to go out (unless you have something urgent to do , like work or stuff ) during the day hours in the summer period ..
since I came back I took it as a rule to go out only at night (after nine o`click) ,, but I noticed something ; the traffic is bad till midnight ,,but at least there is alot of families around you and this is good for us women it gives us more freedom to drive cars during the night , and i take this as an advantage ,, women here can go everywhere , anytime because it is simply safe to do so...
me and mama are soo busy these days(shopping and preparations for my brother Fat7a and engagement party) ,, so we have to go out everyday( i mean everynight!!!) to buy stuff and to do the bookings and reservations and bla..bla..bla..bla..
people in the shops have a very funny answer when you ask about the availability of something that you realy need and you still don`t find ,, this answer is ( insha`allah after ten days !!!) everything is coming after ten days ,, and you come after these ten days to hear the same word ,, well we are waiting for these ten days to finish so we can get what we want !!!
daddy .. we missed you ,, Dania called one of her toys here "baba".. i think she is trying to express herself .. she is trying to say that she missed you.. she missed her playmate ..
but don`t worry ,, she is doing fine ,, playing all the time ,, having fun ,, happy with all the kids here.. it will be hard for me to take her back to our quiet enviroment.. we `ll see
take care daddy .. and have fun..
and by the way i fixed the problem of the photos (as you can see !)
bye for now
Dania `s mama

Monday, July 17, 2006

HEY ...I`m in Libya

well .. we arrived on the 14th of July to my family house after a long trip .. started from 3:00 AM when we woke up and got ready to go to the airport ,, the taxi came at 4:00 AM (already sun shine morning there!!) we arrived to the airport at 4:20 .. checked in and went to the nearest table to take some coffee and wait till it`s time to go .. Abubaker didn`t sleep at at that point; his eyes were getting smaller.. although he refused to go untill we go to the gate ,, Dania was doing great ,, very excited of the new atmosphere ,, there were alot of children playing ,, she was soooo excited,, then we just hugged daddy goodbye and take care ,, and we went to the gate ,, and suddenly..!!! BATATAAAAAAA.... dania was pointing at one point and shouting "crisps" in arabic .. there was a box full of chocolates and crips ,, and she was crying for one of these crisps AT 5:30 IN THE MORNING ... I was sooo embaraced putting the coin in the machine and grapping the crisps and handing it to my little lady.. but what can i do !!!
the plane from Newcastle to London was so smooth ,, Dania slept immediatly ,, we arrived to heathrow at 7:00 ,, and i had like two hours and half before the other plane .. so i checked the place to know where are the gates for international flights and Dania discovered a play ground she turned her lovely face towards me and with a look of an angel(which she is soo good to do !) she asked me politely to go there : Mema (my name ) please .. emshu nel3abu(go to play!!!!)
i couldn`t say no.. i took her to the place and she started to play with joy ,, these children are realy angels of god ,, there were at least 6 nationalities in that place all speaking their own native languages (including dania ) and yet they can communicate easily ,, they were following each other laughing and giggling ,, jumping and running ,, Dania was over the moon (i think she thought that we took the plane to come to this place !!!) ,, there was a portugese boy who played with Dania alot and took good care of her .. yes!! ,, she was playing in a small (plane like) game when she suddenly lost control .. so when i jumped to grap her before falling on the ground ,, i found the boy beside her trying to show her what to do so she can climb the plane again and she refused to take my hand , instead she tried to repeat what the boy instructed her(in portugese!!!)and she did it .. !!!
the plane of the portugese family was before ours ,, so we had to say bye to the lovely boy ,, and it was easy for me to take dania away from the place to go to bye some chocolates and to see the duty free of heathrow ..
i met my brother`s fiance` with her mum in the airport ,, we chatted for a while before heading to the gate .. then we took our seats in the plane ,, and my lovely dania(she was so lovely and quite throughout the jouirney) she slept at once ,, but there was alot of children in the plane that i couldn`t close my eyes ,, babies crying ,, toddlers singing and shouting.. it was a mess ,, i couldn`t even eat (the food was terrible) ... so when we arrived and after the big hugs,hellos and miss yous and ..and.. i went to my bedroom to catch some sleep ,, but may be because of the excitment to be at my family`s home and being with my mum, dad , sister and brothers ,, that i couldn`t sleep at all ,, so i went down to the living room to join them ..
Dania was so happy to see mum especially ,, (Dania calls my mum mama) they are inseparable since then.. she is now sleeping with her ,,
i went to see my inlaws yesterday , they were soo happy to see dania ,, and i felt that Abubaker`s mum was hiding her tears when she was kissing dania ,, she was alone at home ,, she told me about how much she missed her son ,, Abubaker is so good with his parents ,, when we were in Libya he was visiting his parents house everyday ,,
well.. that`s it for now ,,

Thursday, July 13, 2006


WAW !!! what a big day , Italia won the world cup ,, they are the champions of the world ,,I can`t believe myself ,, I supported them with all my heart ,, they deserve the cup ,, yeah! they are the best ,,
I received alot of calls from everywhere congratulating me .. I was speechless ,, when they score their victory goal we all screamed and screamed ,, Dania was so excited running around us and screaming as well ,, (since then she is always singing the "we are the champions " song with her hands up high !!!!).
the next day our computer was stuck (I think it is because of me as I downloaded an antivirous program .. yeah.. me .. the computer expert!!!) ,, well my husband took it to his friend who is a computer REAL expert and had to leave it with him for two long days ,,,
it was as if you sent your own child away from home ,, I think that me and Abubaker became addicted to the virtual world of Internet ,, those two days were the longest days ever..
we had it back yesterday and what a relief ,, it became faster and better .. I would really like to know how people lived before Internet!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I cleaned the house yesterday (big cleaning!!) ,, I know that my husband is a cleaning freak!! but I must leave everything nice and tidy !! ,, I`m doing the laundry now ,,I will go to the gym in an hour for my daily training and to take the instructions from my trainer on what to do during these two months away from my local gym .. I already told her that we had pretty good gyms there in libya but i can`t attend it everyday because they open only three days a week for women ,, well ,, my trainer was thrilled to hear that because she was trying hard with me to use the gym only three times per week but i insisted to come on a daily basis ..
my family are realy busy these days with the preparations for my brother engagement ceremony ,, I hope that I could be of good help when I go there,,
tomorrow my flight (to london) will be at 6 o`clock and that means that i will wake up at 4 o`clock .. then the next flight (to libya) will be 9:30 and we will arrive (in sha`allah) at 14:00 to tripoli.
I like airports and flights and duty free`s ,,I like to see people carrying their bags and heading to various destinations ,, the airport for me is like a small world ,, oh and I enjoy hearing the announcements of the flights coming and going ,, and everything related to airports ,,
well.. i hope everything goes smoothly till we reach my lovely family house..
i can`t wait to see u mum and dad ,, kisses to you dody .. and big hugs to Aladdin and Ghassan.

Saturday, July 08, 2006


I`m packing ,, yes ! going to visit my family in Libya ,, we have a special occasion there : my brother`s engagement party ,, I bought two bags the other day for me and Dania (you know alot of clothes and shoes ,, to show off there!! hahaha!!).
I finished my shopping (with no money left for the rest of the month... ooops!!!!) the problem is when i checked back what i bought i felt so disappointed and shocked ,, i spent almost all my money and i still need a hundred of things which for my opinion are soooo important!!( I know it is -women- ever- problem- : never satisfied!!),, well thanks god for everything ,, and after all I`m going to my family house so I don`t think I will need anything with my mum spoiling us all the time .. yes my mum has a weakness towards us she never refused any thing we asked ( and yes we always take advantage of that!!) so if I need any thing there I` sure she will not refuse !!(I`m a mean girl!!!).
my brother is engaged to a beautiful girl ,, when I first met her I was like -oh my god- she is georgous !!!,, she is so young but her way of thinking and how she expresses herself made me feel as if I`m with a mature intellectual woman ,, I like it when a woman is combining the beauty with culture and knowledge.. we as a family are so happy to have her as a new member ..
my mother and sister are doing all the preparations there in Libya and believe me it is a headache to prepare for events in libya ,, you must be in control of everything and never trust the promises made by the people you are dealing with ,, you must check and check and check .. as for buying things ,, well this is another issue ,, although we have some good shops and boutiques full with italian clothes and stuff ,, but yet there is no variety of styles and stuff ,, well to make a long story short ,, it is a compelte headache to get prepared for any event there..
well.. I will arrive on the 14th of this month (next friday) my plane from here will take off at 6 o`clock which means we will wake at 4 o`clock in the morning !!,, then a transit in heathrow for two hours aand half ,, and we will arrive in my country at 14:00.
long journey but it worht it ,, I missed my family too much .. I missed our "breakfast" chatting around the kitchen table .. our evening conversations about almost everything ,, and our "let`s go around the city"`s every thursday..
we will leave abubaker here alone ,, he is concerned about how to do alone ( well I don`t think it is a problem to have some free time away from family and duties !! but he is insisting that he will get bored !!!),, yesterday evening he was playing with Dania and suddenly he sighed and said that he is gonna miss her (and me of course!!) ,, yes in these few months we were so close like never before ,, when we where in my country we were like roommates!! i have my own car and he has his own one ,, i have my work and my family and social duties and he has his .. even when we go together to any event; we had to be separated because women and men don`t meet in typical libyan occasions!!
in result ,, I was used to do everything alone ,, when we think of going out for dinner or something; it is always like mission impossible `cause we must swipe away all bad ideas from the staring people`s heads and convinced them that we are a typical libyan married couple (and this is simply done my expressing some long faces and never never NEVER hold eachother hands!!!)
but here ,, we are together all the time with no commitments or duties just the three of us all the time ,, we like it although it is boring sometimes!! ,, but i think it is a precious thing that we achieved here..
back to my preparations .. Abubaker is concerned about me being alone with Dania ,, i used to travel by my own ,, but with this little monster ,, yes ,, i`m concerned too !! but I know I will manage ,,
Abubaker has always this father figure with all his concerns and doubts ,, sometimes it frustrates me ,, but I`m getting used to it ..
we are gonna miss him ,, but I think it will be a great opportunity to explore the city (and even other cities if he wants) as he will have more free time especially with the wonderful weather these days,,
by the way my bags are RED in colour ,,,, mmmmm!!! well it will be easier to recognize them don`t you think!!!!

Dania`s mother

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Dania supporting her favourate teams


I`m so thrilled right now .. thay made it ,, they won the game ,,, oaaaaaaaaah!!! it was a hard day for me .. i couldn`t see the match (I have a soft heart!!!),, but on the final 5 minutes of the additional time i came back to the living room waiting for the game to end and for the penalties to start ,,I was discussing the efficiency of the Italian goal keeper ,, and suddenly!!!!!!!!! they score and we jumped .. waaaw!! then the second one came !! oh my god ,, we screamed and yelled ,, I got a call from dad ,, he was singing and shouting with joy: we will take it!! "la coppa e nostra!!"(the cup is ours!!) ..
Abubaker called his friend who is a big fan of the Italians ,, he told us that the Libyans are in hte streets celebrating ,,
then my aunt called from Italy ,, she said there were fire works everywhere !! she lost her voice out of joy ,,
what a day!! I`m so happy right now ,, hoping to see them in the final game holding the cup ,, we need some celebrations !!
I noticed that I mostly write about the football and the world cup ,, well it is a temporary period as this is the main topic these days ,, even when I call my mum, I spend most of the call time chatting about the world cup ,, I guess this is what you get when you`re married to a "football lunatic"!!! sorry hubby.

Dania`s Mother

Sunday, July 02, 2006


Argentina lost!!!!!!!!!.. yesterday was one of my husband`s worst days of his life .. I never saw him in this situation ,, when they lost he was like a statue ,, stunned and shocked ,,i must say that I was soooo disappointed they were the best team in this tournament ,, well after all ; football is all about art and luck (and some under-table bloody games of FIFA leaders!!)..
but later on I was so relieved that the Italians has made it .. they won after I almost got a heart attack ,, but they did it !! yeeees !! ....."FORSA ITALIA!!!" ..
Dania was just running around us shouting "talia..talia!!!" she is so happy these days that she got two crasy parents who are screaming and singing all the time in front of the TV .. well !! because of a "ball"!!!!
But... today England lost ,, it was a great shock ,,when it was over; the commentators at BBC TV were hiding their tears(actually one of them was already crying ),, there was this feeling of sadness and emptiness ,, we felt sad for them ,, later on I went to my local gym (yes!! trying to loose some weight!!) and the first thing i saw was an angry supporter who was pulling England flags off his car,, and when the Metro arrived nearby; i saw lots of fans getting off the train crying and holding each other,, and when I entered the gym ,, ooops!! it was deserted ,, people are in the lobby arguing and shouting ,,nobody in the gym area!!!!
how emotional and heartbreaking is this sport,, one minute you are the champion ,next minute you`re going home empty handed..
my mum loves football too much ,, actually she is the only one who understand it ,, the rest (my two brothers and my younger sister and even dad) doesn`t realy care about football unless it is world cup.. we usually get crazy!! and we all support Italia,,
I really miss these feelings and the crazy things we usually do during the tournament ,, but thanks god that we have internet , satellite and mobiles ,, connection is easier now .. but nothing replaces the physical connections and touches..
well I guess I`m over excited and emotional because of this tournament,,
by the way the FRENCH defeated Brazil ,, I love france ,,especially Zedan and Henry.. they are amazing.. ahhhhhhh!!! at least something to smile for!!!!

Thursday, June 29, 2006

The World Cup Fever again!!!

For the English people here it is not a simple world cup ,, instead, it is a battle of glory.. you can just see their flags almost everywhere !! on the cars ,roofs and house`s windows ..
i realy wish that the English team wins its next match ,, to see more of these flags !!!

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Summer time!

hey ..guess what ?? it is summer time....
but here in Newcastle .. we`re still waiting for it to come

and here is Dania struggling to have some fun time ..

Monday, June 26, 2006

Oh!!! it`s GEORDIE..
when I first came here, i thought that i have a good English language ,, untill i met the first person here ,,, and it was horrible !!..oh my god!!!!!! do they speak English??? ,, or is it me who doesn`t understand????? ..
when we first went to the city centre we had to take the bus ,,so i pushed Abubaker to ask the driver for tickets..but there was alot of "excuse me !!!,, pardon!!!,, sorry!!!!": my husband was struggling to understand the driver , but finally (and because Abubaker was clear in his question about the tickets) the driver gave us the tickets ,, but we were so disappointed with the local dialect ,,,we realized that we will make a great effort to cope with this language!!!,, their dialect sounds like the German way of speaking ,,
later we understand that this is the Geordie Dialect and "it is one of the oldest dialects in Britain, coming from ancient Scandinavian and German languages.
Geordie and Northumbrian words are more than 80% Angle (Danish) in origin. "(quoted from the BBC website)..
well now i`m used to the Geordie ,, although still don`t undersand most of it but i`m trying..
take a look at the BBC website , there are some sambles of the Geordie dialect..
have a nice geordie time!!!

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Alan Shearer..
for every person here in Newcastle , Alan Shearer is a legend ,, he is a super hero and the symbol of Newcastle glory and pride..
Alan Shearer was one of the greatest players in the England team and a legend in the newcastle United Football Club..
when he played his last game before quitting football ,, people here were very emotional and the stadium was so crowded ,, and the next day Newcastle was all covered in the white and black colours (Newcastle football squad`s colours) ,, anf the Earl Grey Monument (one of Newcastle Symbols) was all covered in black and white ,,, everywhere there were thank you`s and we will never forget you`s on the walls , over the stores and everywhere!!
So,,when we heard last week that he is coming to sign some photographs to his fans in our nearby supermarket ,,waw!! it was great ,, we just woke up so early that day and went there and we took this photo ,, oh !! the supermarket was so crowded, people were everywhere waiting to see him ,, but for Dania this is a supermarket and we are here to buy biscuits and chips ,, so she was shouting all the time BATATAAAA..BATATAAAA(chips in arabic!!!!)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!so we surrendered and we started to do our regular shopping including her chips and biscuits ..on the way out we saw his big bus going and the people outside waving for him and taking the last photos of their living hero..

Thursday, June 22, 2006

A Heart Breaking Story

I`m so touched by the story of the two girls from USA who did a terrible accident; one survived and the other was killed and then a roller coaster of events had changed their families lives for ever:
The Ceraks family burried their daughter after she had been killed in a terrible accident ,, but six weeks after; they had been told that their dead daughter is alive !!
a dreadful mix-up of identities at the scene of crash and later in the mortuary, meant she was mistaken for her college friend Laura Van Ryn,, they were almost identical; same hieght, same weight and good looks..
while Whitney Cerak family grieved for their beautiful daughter ,, Laura family were taking care of their (as they thought )daughter waiting for her to recover..
but in a heartbreaking twist ,, whitney emerged from her -month long- coma and whispered her name,, the mix-up stunned the families and all America..
laura is the dead one and whitney survived..
please check out the memorial video: that Laura`s family did to their beloved daughter , and the blog of the Cerak family about the progress of their -now alive- daughter..
it is an emotional - heart breaking - story to tell..

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

It`s the world cup fever ,, Abubaker is glued to the TV ,,and if it is Argentina in the match ; this means yelling..shoutings..cryings..and singings...i realy pray for Argentina to win the cup for my husband`s health ,, although i like the Italians but i have no hope that they will even pass the next step,, i`m so disappointed ,, well i also hope that England will go further through this tournament `cause i would like to see some celebrations and parties around here..
yesterday i went to our supermarket to bye some goods,,it was so calm and quiet ,,then i realize that England was playing at the time ,,no cars in the streets ,, no people on the roads,,and shops sooooooooooooooooo empty ,,, exellant time for shopping!!!
Above are some photos from "Il Mondiale"as the Italians say!

Monday, June 19, 2006

this is dania in a play ground
This is our little family`s diary, we live in Newcastle Upon Tyne, UK our family is consisting of me [Main Member!], my husband Abubaker and our little daughter Dania, she is two yrs and 5 months, a spoiled little lady raised by my mum and still in a wonderful contact with her even after we moved here,, we`ve been here for just five months [for study purposes] and i think that we started to love the city especially after we finally saw the sun and the weather became warmer which gave us the opportunity to explore the city and to discover many enteresting places to go ...
we came here in the middle of the winter, coming from a warm country it was a big shock to experience the real cold, the minus degrees and the snow!!! i was in panic covering my daughter from head to toe with multiple layers of clothes and i was so shocked when i saw the children with their small jackets and their heads uncovered ,, gradually i started to get used to the weather and to the city in general..
i must admit that the city is so full of life and there is alot of places to go and most of all it is full of history with its ancient buildings and churches ,, it is much different from my home country Libya with its ever shining sun and warm weather but it is simillar in the history side ,, my country is one of the biggest historical places in the world..
the people are so friendly here ,, i`m living in a beautiful neighbourhood ,, and always amazed with the neighbours friendly behaviour to eachother and to us ,, everybody is smiling and giving nice comments about my daughter ..
i guess that living here will be a new adventure and a good experience to all of us..
i just miss my mum and dad too much that i can`t handle it